Was zum Schmunzeln 2

    Wer kann wirklich englisch?


    Drei Hexen schauen sich drei Swatch Uhren an. Welche Hexe schaut welche
    Uhr an?

    und nun das Ganze in englischer Sprache....

    Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watch which
    Swatch watch?

    Gruß, zisoft

    Ein Deutscher sitzt gerade beim Frühstück, mit Kaffee, Croissants, Butter und Marmelade, als sich ein Kaugummi kauender Holländer neben ihn setzt. Ohne aufgefordert zu werden, beginnt dieser eine Konversation: "Esst ihr Deutschen eigentlich das ganze Brot?" Der Deutsche lässt sich nur widerwillig von seinem Frühstück ablenken und erwidert: "Ja, natürlich." Der Holländer macht eine

    Riesenblase mit seinem Kaugummi und meint: "Wir nicht. Bei uns in Holland essen wir nur das Innere des Brotes. Die Brotrinden werden in Containern gesammelt, aufbereitet, in Croissants geformt und nach Deutschland verkauft." Der Deutsche hört nur schweigend zu. Der Niederländer lächelt verschmitzt und fragt: "Esst ihr auch Marmelade zum Brot?" Der Deutsche erwidert leicht genervt: "Ja, natürlich." Während der Holländer seinen Kaugummi zwischen den Zähnen zerkaut, meint er: "Wir nicht. Bei uns in den Niederlanden essen wir nur frisches Obst zum Frühstück. Die Schalen, Samen und Überreste werden in Containern gesammelt, aufbereitet, zu Marmelade verarbeitet und nach Deutschland verkauft." Nun ist es an dem Deutschen, eine Frage zu stellen: "Habt ihr auch Sex in Holland?" Der Holländer lacht und sagt: "Ja, natürlich haben wir Sex." Der Deutsche lehnt sich über den Tisch und fragt: "Und was macht ihr mit den Kondomen, wenn ihr sie gebraucht habt?" "Die werfen wir weg", meint der Holländer. Jetzt fängt der Deutsche gemütlich an zu lächeln: "Wir nicht. In Deutschland werden alle Kondome in Containern gesammelt, aufbereitet, geschmolzen, zu Kaugummi verarbeitet und nach Holland verkauft."

    Gruß, zisoft

    Auf Newsticker:
    Hacker löscht eigene Festplatte...

    Link...

    Something nice I read on http://www.stophiphop.de (got pointed there by a comment on http://www.macguardians.de) is this nice story of a hacker: http://www.beast.mos-worlds.de/modules/new...php?storyid=184 (site might be down, quite a lot of people are reading this).

    In case you don't speak german (just as this hacker), I've tried a little translation to english. I might have made some spelling errors, but the original spelling wasn't perfect either. The guy really said "buy buy" in the german version. I've posted this on the forum on http://www.desertcombat.com before, so if this looks familiar, might be the same. I've corrected some mistakes and put the < > back to the right version (The DC forum does not support them). All censoring was done by this particular forum here.
    Notice that in germany we get DST earlier than in the US.

    The story starts (I'm shortcutting here) with an [Please control your cussing] insulting everyone on the IRC channel. Most people there believed it was rather funny, but it got even more funny. For information: The dangerous hacker is called bitchchecker and the one being hacked and original author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch. 127.0.0.1 is always the IP-adress of the computer you're currently using, any request there will return to your computer.


    What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.


    There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.


    He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.


    In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

    Zitat


    <bitchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
    <Elch> that's bad
    <bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
    <Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
    <bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone


    Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

    Zitat


    <bitchchecker> tupac rules
    <bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too


    Drive E:? Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted....

    Or isn't it happening on my computer?


    The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

    Zitat


    <bitchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
    <bitchchecker> i'm already at c: 30 percent


    Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?

    Zitat


    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)


    Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "bitchchecker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.

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